SHM Nerd Gahl of the 12th Grommy Behemoths
An incredibly photogenic painting of Nerd by Gustavol Espanaviali used in an advertisement promoting the Korny Kvltists. On his forehead, he bears the mark of the Korny Kvltists.
AllianceThe Pleasure Legion of Penile Undulation
Sub-FactionThe Korny Kvltists
Stationed Land6th Gah Seelah Bracken
Honorary TitleThe Behehehemoth, The Shartanist

SHM Nerd Gahl of the 12th Grommy Behemoths is a pleasurecommander residing on the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken. He is best known as the (fore)head of the Korny Kvltists. He is highly devoted to the worship of the grimmest darkest forces of sharting. He is known outside of his realm infamously as the Behehehemoth because of his monstrous nature, but more likely for his insanely oversized forehead. Some also refer to him as The Shartanist due to him sometimes exhibiting sharting powers unknown to most mortal men.

History Edit

Unfortunately for young Nerd, the 12th Grommy Behemoths were perpetually decimated by the vicious Yalamics, leaving him alone and stranded upon an asteroid. However, he managed to survive because he received guidance from the Pleasuremonger MYS-1 Great Ee-san Vegan-Garde of the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken, who granted him sustenance as well as a bright shining star that pointed the way to the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken. He arrived as the very first pleasureperson to set foot into that land, and by himself he constructed towers and castles out of the blistering snow. It took him a great many years to fully construct an entire stronghold, even Nerd himself does not remember how long the process lasted.

Soon after, he was persuaded by MYS-1 Great Ee-san Vegan-Garde to join the Pleasure Legion of Penile Undulation, so he enrolled in the Mementican University of Pleasure. There, he demonstrated a great love for the grim dark forces of sharting, motivating him to become a Shartmaster. He spent his post-graduation PCUM days in Mementica as a guest lecturer on the art of sharting and even managed to publish a variety of books on the subject of innovative sharting techniques and shart-related philosophy. Upon attaining the rank of a Shartmaster, he released a book titled Confessions of a Memetic, detailing his struggles as a lone survivor of his homeland and his journey to the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken and Mementica.

As a Shartmaster, Nerd returned to the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken to become its prime overseer. He also created the sub-faction The Korny Kvltists with the purpose of paying gratitude and respect to MYS-1 Great Ee-san Vegan-Garde for all his centuries of care and guidance. He eventually expanded the group to dabble in various grim and dark kvlt-related things, such as safe-keeping kvlt-related memes and practicing complex sharting rituals.

Presently, Nerd is in the process of perfecting a new sharting technique and completing a book about it.

Infamy as The Behehehemoth Edit

Nerd frequently goes on book tours throughout the various lands and planets to promote his works, often giving orations of verses from his texts in a highly violent and graphic manner. Sometimes, he even sharts while orating. Many pleasurepeople have described him as being like "some sort of behemoth, though quite kekitious". This has led to Nerd being labelled as a man of jensituity, causing him to be a target for flak as well as a subject of many trivial ruses.

Penis and Dicke and Balls Magazine featured Nerd in their weekly column Living Memes, making a variety of jokes about his outrageous appearance and public behaviour.

He is regarded as quite the celebrity on Mementica and Elbinia.

The Museum of Kvlty Memery Edit

Due to his academic qualifications, Nerd has a license to be a curator. Therefore, he set up The Museum of Kvlty Memery in the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken to display kvlt-related memes.

Yalamic Bible Incident Edit

Once, on a book tour in Elbinia, Nerd was approached by a couple of Yalamics who handed him a their bible. Becoming immensely triggered, Nerd proceeded to rip the bible to shreds during his oration, denouncing the Yalamics in a highly violent fashion. From then on, the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken has been subject to constant attacks from the Yalamics, resulting in frequent tiring skirmishes upon the snowlands, though Nerd finds it to be largely entertaining and beneficial to his physical health.

Funnily enough, the incident bears striking resemblance to this.

Bibliography Edit

Nerd is known to be a highly prolific writer. He has written a few books on sharting techniques and several essays on a variety of subjects.

  • Jizzing Near Mementica
    • Nerd's first text, a brief essay on free-hand jizzing.
  • The 12th Grommy Behemoths: A Recital
    • A brief essay on Nerd's experiences in his homeland before it got destroyed. It is featured in the book Lost Realms: An Anthology.
  • Coprophiliac Incantations
    • An instructional manual compiling all the ancient sharting techniques that Nerd could study from the Mementican Library of Promegian Artistry. He applies each technique in a modern setting and critiques them thoroughly.
  • Shartanica
    • Nerd's very first original full-length text about his personal sharting techniques. He includes various passages on a variety of other related topics such as dieting, sharting philosophy and anal care. It is regarded as an essential read for an introduction to modern sharting.
  • Sharthelema.69
    • An advanced book about further complicated sharting techniques with allusions to pleasure.
  • Zos Kek Kvltvs
    • A book exploring the concept of kek and its relation to the kvlt. This is Nerd's initial foray into the world of kvlt-related memes.
  • Demigonad
    • A book about a single extremely complex sharting technique which Nerd calls the Demigonad. It involves the shrinking of one's testicles to boost the power of one's shart. Since this technique is extremely difficult, the book is considered to be of a highly advanced level. It is regarded as Nerd's greatest and most innovative work.
  • The Shartopstasy
    • A book on newer advanced sharting techniques.
  • Reevangelion
    • A book about another single extremely complex sharting technique which involves screaming like a frog to boost the power of one's shart. It is quite a controversial book because Nerd describes the technique merely in a theoretical way, making many believe that the actual technique is impossible to accomplish.
  • The Shartanist
    • A book on even more new advanced sharting techniques.
  • Confessions of a Memetic
    • Nerd's memoir as well as a tribute of sorts to MYS-1 Great Ee-san Vegan-Garde and the city of Mementica.
  • Blow Your Penis Gabriel (To-be-released)
    • Nerd has constantly announced that a new book titled Blow Your Penis Gabriel is being written, though it is nowhere near completion as of yet. It is to detail a single complicated sharting technique once again. He is currently still researching and testing the technique on the 6th Gah Seelah Bracken.

Trivia Edit

  • Considering that Nerd constructed an entire stronghold on his own, it probably took him hundreds of years. This makes him one of the oldest characters in the Promegian universe.
  • Nerd once mentioned to MYS-1 Great Ee-san Vegan-Garde in a prayer that his favourite movie is Megamind. Many speculate that it is due to the fact that Nerd finds the movie physically relatable.
  • In one random interview he expressed distaste for the Purile Aluminiums, considering them to be a petty kek.